By Erick Berlanga / Staff PhotographerBY YUSUF HAFEZ • MAY 6, 2024
Published in the Columbia Spectator
Dear Columbia,
As I sit here, writing my final words as a college student, I want to start by looking back at the very beginning—I remember how you were once a dream to me. This was something I was so proud of: attending the best school in my home state, in the city I grew up next to, playing soccer here, studying civil engineering, and having an amazing Muslim and Arab community. I felt like I was on top of the world at this school; I had felt at home, and I felt like I accomplished so much. I worked so hard for it all, to make my parents and family proud, to make myself proud, and to achieve the dreams little Yusuf always had. I was excited for my senior year; there was so much more to do, so much more to achieve.
That all changed on October 25, 2023. You left me completely stranded when I found my name on a doxxing truck accusing me of signing a statement I had no involvement in, a statement I had never read nor signed. I thought this school would show up and protect me. I represented this school in a positive light in so many ways. They couldn’t let me down, could they?
I waited, I reached out, I begged for help from the University, but you were nowhere to be found. I gave this school so much and I got nothing in return.
So a lot of people ask me, “What about the Doxing Resource Group?” Let me share my personal experience with this Doxing Resource Group. I was in communication with the dean of students, who seemed quite sick of me and told me to email the support group. So on November 2, 2023, I emailed them for help with my situation. After 15 days, I finally got a response saying, “We apologize for the delayed response. There were technical issues,” and that they were sorry to hear that this had happened. They then said, “We encourage you to reach out to your Dean of Students who can help you to access University-provided resources.” This is a service you recommended, something that was supposed to help us. Why am I going around begging for someone to help me with this situation? Why? Tell me. Why is nobody reaching out and offering support? I felt like my life was ruined. I felt hopeless.
If the school wouldn’t help me, who would? My family and I decided to take matters into our own hands and filed a lawsuit against Accuracy in Media, the company behind all of this. Columbia then began to see me—I wondered why. To protect their own image? They saw articles about me, and questions were raised. Many asked, “Why is the student suing, and not the school?”
I wondered the same thing. Why was I taking on the burden for this? I had emailed so many within the school to ask for some sort of compensation at the very least, to make this easier on me and my family. I was not given a response.
I was invited to meet with University President Minouche Shafik. Hopeful that something would come of it, I voiced my concerns about the treatment of all Muslims and Arabs at this school, my own situation, the lack of support from the school, and the inaccessibility of the help we really needed. Muslim and Arab students were not being seen because Columbia refused to see them. Being the first doxxed student to file a lawsuit, I initially hoped that I would have the school on my side; however, all I received was a message that the school would not be able to compensate me for any of the legal fees I incurred. Again, Columbia, you looked away when I needed you most.
I was falling behind in my classes, so I asked Columbia if there was some sort of option that could be made to help me. A pass/D/fail option, anything. Again, nothing.
I asked, and they would only look away.
Since being doxxed, I have dealt in my final months at Columbia with people treating me differently, shooting me dirty looks, and calling me a “terrorist.” I try to ignore it—the hate comments, the racism from people who have never even met me. When I began to integrate back to campus, I felt weird and uncomfortable. I always felt like hiding my face. I would wear a hood, a hat, or a mask. I ended up cutting off my hair. I wanted a disguise, but behind the disguise was just a little boy who wanted to go home. A boy who never felt safe in a place he thought he was able to call home. That picture still haunts me, and that is what people associate me with.
I am Yusuf Hafez, the kid on the truck. I have worked so hard to get here. I have achieved a lot in my life, Alhamdulillah, and to be simplified to the kid on the truck is degrading. How can you hate someone if you haven’t even met them? You don’t really know who I am.
After seeing the recent arrests on campus, the way administration acted so aggressively against its students, I wonder why the University was so reluctant to take any measures when a truck was parading around our campus putting students in harm’s way. It really makes you question, why are my concerns not taken seriously? The concerns of people like me?
What was once a dream had become one of my biggest nightmares. Not only was the doxxing situation traumatizing, but the University’s reaction to everything was just as traumatizing as their treatment of Muslim and Arab students as second-class citizens. Maybe the media was right—the world does see me and my people as “human animals.” I can guarantee things would have been different in this doxxing situation if I were not Muslim, given the administration’s consistent failure to acknowledge Islamophobia. Regardless of what would’ve happened, Columbia’s lack of action spoke volumes to me. This event has caused me permanent damage and pain, and when I looked to you in a time of need and support, you looked away. You turned a blind eye to my struggles, just like you did to the Palestinians, Arabs, and Muslims at this school and around the world.
Yusuf Hafez is a senior at Columbia graduating with a B.S. in civil engineering. He served as president of Turath, Columbia and Barnard’s Arab Students Association, during his junior year and was a member of the Columbia men’s soccer team.
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By Erick Berlanga / Staff PhotographerBY YUSUF HAFEZ • MAY 6, 2024
Published in the Columbia Spectator